This past Wednesday, Colorado State University hosted the renowned conservationist, Jane Goodall. Kelley and I were fortunate enough to get some tickets and were looking forward to what she had to say, as she has seen our planet change drastically during her career. I was also looking forward to plenty of chimp talk and therefore was giddy like a school child during the hours prior to her lecture.

To be honest I really wasn’t sure what to expect from her. I was hoping that she wouldn’t over-indulge in a typical “Save The Rainforests” rant and was pleasantly surprised when she dove right into sustainability and how all of this interrelated. She delivered us her personal turning point when she questioned how could she be so concerned about a specific species of animal when human beings living in the very same area of the world were starving and had an infant mortality rate that was higher than that of the animals she was studying? These realizations helped her broaden focus to a more global approach and she started the Jane Goodall Institute and other programs such as Roots and Shoots.

She spoke about how “thinking global and acting local” is the most important action each of us can realistically take – which is what the main message was in my mind. Things like, buy organic food – these products have have far fewer environmentally damaging chemicals sprayed on them, and the animals have most likely led a better, more fulfilling life than their non-organic counterparts. Don’t shop at Wal-Mart, which is essentially a sanctioned slave labor camp operating in almost every third world country (there is more slavery in the world today than ever before). These simple steps may cost a little more money in the short run, but let’s get serious – we are royally screwing up this planet and if we continue along this path – it is going to get a lot more expensive, and I don’t mean in dollars.

Ok, thanks for reading – here is what I was thinking about prior to the lecture.

• the average daily number of farts ran to about about 9.15; females admitted to 3.28 per day while the men admited to 13.63
• When dating or in a monogamous relationship, people wait on an average 92.77 days before openly farting in the presence of the beloved; 62.98 days for men and 149.82 days for the women.
• Quoting Jean Genet’s remark that “every man loves the smell of his own farts” the respondents were asked if they have ever farted into the cupped hand and smelled it at close hand, so to speak. An honest 21% admitted that hey had; 10% thought the idea sick. I have no idea what the others said.

Haha, Google had a pretty funny April fools joke to play on everyone – Google TiSP which will give everyone free wireless by flushing a fiber optic cable down your toilet. Check out the full spec sheet for this revolutionary technology:

http://www.google.com/tisp/

Let me know about any April Fools jokes you were victom too or played on someone!

For those of you familiar with John Hodgman’s recent book “The Areas of My Expertise” you will be pleased to hear that a site has emerged which has illustrated all 700 of the hobo names John lists in said book. For those of you not familiar with the work of John Hodgman (he is “PC” on those “PC – MAC” commercials) – I URGE you to pick up a copy of this book (or audio book) as soon as humanly possible.

#790: Voweltooth Jenkins, the Man with the Scrabble Tile Dentures

Well, most of you already have one of these unless you are like Dan Moskowitz and never responded to my request for an updated address and then I got it back in the mail yesterday “return to sender”.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season – have some wings and drink a few Labatt Blues for me at the Bill for those who will be home.